in a mood
I really resist the urge to complain here, but I am in a mood. The rain won't end. I slept horribly, thinking every time it started up again that this would be it. This must be the shower than would begin the slow trickle of water into our basement. (It doesn't flood, but we have had A LOT of rain. And there's more on the way. Several days more.) In between the downpours, I had a dream about Mother Nature as a living and breathing person. She was very pretty. She wore a blue dress. And boy was she mad at us.
I've been having a fling with black and white photographs lately too, which to me have an undercurrent of solitude and melancholia. I've been studying them on Flickr and the settings on the camera have been fixed this way for days. Did the interest in black and white appear because of the mood, or is the mood developing due in part to the interest? Who knows. But either way, they seem to be fueling each other. I'm also reading John Irving's A Prayer for Owen Meany for my book club. It's wonderful. It's touching and funny but in that Forest Gump sort of way- hopeful and amusing yet so depressing.
I'm trying my best to embrace this mood and take it for what it is: I'm over-tired, I have a headache, I'm husbandless, I've got cabin fever and I'm worried our wee little garden is going to drown. In a day or two it will pass. The sun will return. The garden will surely dry out. Even if puddles appear in the basement I am blessed to have a basement to fuss over. Brian comes home this evening. I have fun plans this week. Summer is drawing near and I'm looking forward to it. But I'm trying not to look forward too much. I might miss something important right now.